Desi Guide to Dating: What to do after the first date

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Say your first date has gone tremendously well, what are the next steps? How do you take dating to the next level? When do you become each other’s girlfriend/ boyfriend? How do you make sure that you don’t scare them off? Here we tell you how to conduct yourself after the first date and how to show your interest in an appropriate way. Having consistently good dating behaviour across all dates is the key to long term success.


  • Set up your next date before the date ends. If she says she loves going for walks, tell her that you would love to go on a walk with her the next day. If she says she loves Chinese food, tell her that you know the best Chinese place in town and set up a time right then and there. She may flake if she doesn’t like you, but at least you are doing your best to capture the next date.
  • Ladies, don’t be shy. Go ahead and tell him what you would like to do next, give suggestions. Girls are often more creative when it comes to date ideas than men, so come up with some interesting ideas and share.
  • If you lock down the next date, you will come out of this first date feeling over the moon!

    Text them after the date

  • Ask her if she got home okay. This is old school, and many people don’t bother with this these days, but it’s a sweet and thoughtful thing to do.
  • Text her to tell her you had a great time.
  • Text him to thank him, even if it was a cup of coffee or tea and even if you split the bill.
  •  If you like her, then tell her via text. Say that you really enjoyed spending time with her and you hope to see her again really soon. Guys, you may think this is sappy, but this is exactly the kind of stu girls love and appreciate.

    If and only the other party seems willing, some mild phone flirting can begin. This helps create some sexual tension before your next date. You can disguise your flirting with seemingly harmless questions such as, ‘Your skin looks so soft, how do you moisturize?’ or ‘You are so fit, do you go to the gym?’


    There is way to conduct yourself if this happens. Even though there are 1.3 billion of us, we live in an inter- connected world with just a few degrees of separation between us all. You don’t want the other person to think that you’re mean and spreading rumours about you. It is best to handle the failure of your date in an elegant and adult way.

    Sachin: There is a way to behave if this happens. Hit the bottle, listen to Guru Dutt or Atif Aslam songs and sit in a dark room. And girls, go cry your heart out to your bestie and eat a tub of ice cream! Just kidding. Ira is right. Be mature, move on and this is the reason god gave us dating apps.

      • Text her to tell her you had a good time, no matter what. It can just be a polite text; don’t overdo it else she will think you are leading her on.
      • Text him to thank him, just to be polite and especially if he paid.
      • If you don’t intend to see him again, don’t lead him on by sending him smiley and kissy faces. Definitely no winky face. Some of these emoticons can be very suggestive, especially blushy face.
      • Respond to his texts. Be polite, send one-liners. If he does not get the point and continues to text, then you may have to stop texting all together.
      • If you don’t intend to see her again, don’t just ignore her. Reply, but be distant and polite.
      • What if one person is texting incessantly and just doesn’t seem to get the hint? In this case, it’s best to just text/email and tell them that you don’t think that it will work out between you and best of luck in the future. If they ask for further explanations, you don’t owe them any. Just move on and ignore.
      • If you are the person receiving this end of the stick, I am sorry for you. You did nothing wrong, it’s just not a great t – not everyone is and there are unfortunately no reasons for this! It comes down to chemistry and if your equation doesn’t balance, it’s better to get out of the laboratory.
      • Remember – a no is no. If she is not interested in you, no matter what you say or do, she may not change her mind. Do not resort to online or real-life stalking. It is detrimental and harmful to everyone involved and she very well may report you to the cops or Facebook at least. Stalking is an absolute no and unlike what SRK may say or do in his films, it will get you nowhere but in jail.

    Read more dating tips in The Desi Guide to Dating by Ira Trivedi and Sachin Bhatia



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