Taken with permission from the article ‘That tingly, tingly feeling’ by loveologist Dr. Snehalata Dubey, appearing in the February 2017 issue of Inner Beauty:
What is this tingly, tingly feeling everyone talks about? No, I don’t like it at all. And that is why after watching many soap operas, reading countless love stories, interviewing all my neighbours, and speaking to Cupid himself (hehehe, that’s a joke), I, Snehalata Dubey, have found the five signs that you cannot miss when you fall in the ocean of love. Yes, you read that right. You can now have scientific proof that you have fallen in love. So shall we get started, my dearies?
Yes, my lovelies, believe it or not, the first sign of falling in love is a dry throat. It feels like a piece of coal has been stuck in your throat and when you open your mouth, only croaking noises come out. It happened to me. But if you have not met anyone and have a dry throat, I would recommend you drink lots and lots of water.
If your heart goes dhak dhak, it is nothing but the second sign that you have fallen in love. And let me tell you from personal experience, it feels like your heart is hitting hard against your rib cage. Oh, what a wonderful feeling it is. But if you also get a pain in your left shoulder, please do go to a cardiologist immediately, okay?
Knotty stomach, huh, not naughty stomach! Hehehe. If you feel like your intestine is squeezing your stomach, then it is the third sign that you are in love. Of course, it does not count if you’re sitting on a Ferris wheel. If you don’t like this feeling, you can take a few deep breaths or smell your socks. And please don’t drink Eno. It doesn’t help.
My dearies, I can tell you I had a very tough time discovering this one. It was so hot that everyone had sweaty palms, including me. And that is why this sign is to be considered only after checking for the first three signs. It is also much advisable to keep a handkerchief with you all the times. You don’t want to meet your pookie bear with sweaty palms now, do you?
If you start seeing stars during the daytime, then first check your head for any bumps. If you find none, then yes, you have successfully checked the fifth sign. In such cases, please do not attempt to walk. Instead, immediately grab onto something (not the stars) before you fall down. If you don’t, you will surely end up with some bumps.
But there’s some bad news, my dearies! I shudder to even say it, but I must. These very same signs show up after a breakup as well as I found out for myself. Yes, my lovelies, I, Snehalata Dubey suffered heartbreak a few weeks ago. And I had to suffer through these very same five signs. It was horrible!
So here’s the sixth, yes sixth, and most secret sign that you have fallen in love. Listen closely. No, no, not to me. To the Heavens. For you will hear music. It can be Beethoven da or Tamma Tamma Loge or even that Lady Gaga. But yes, my dearies, if you hear music out of nowhere, you’re surely in love.